As a college advisor, I encounter HS students who, despite appearing eager to navigate the college admissions process, struggle with follow-through. These students seem engaged in our conversations; they seem to understand my support and direction. They smile, speak to me respectfully and are engaged, I think, in the process.
I always leave my students with a list of action items to complete before our next meeting. And, with these particularly passive resistant students, when we talk the next week, nothing has been done. It’s disheartening to watch them approach deadlines without tangible results, especially as I know they’re capable of success. It’s made even more frustrating because of the looming college deadlines that these students face.
Are Passive Resistant HS Students Something New?
When I first encountered a student like this, I thought their actions were caused by the fear that enveloped all of us because of Covid-19. There is a lot of research and articles about the mental health impact on high school and college students since Covid hit in March of 2020. But now I’m not so sure. It almost feels to me as if these students are stuck and afraid to take the next steps to adulthood. The Toys R Us song, ‘I don’t want to grow up’ has played in my head many times while meeting with these students.
Left to their own devices, I’m positive that these students wouldn’t complete many, if any, college applications by the intractable deadlines and could easily graduate high school without any plans for their future.
The parents of these students usually do everything, short of completing their applications for them, and are equally frustrated and scared. The last thing I want is to leave my passive-resistant students and their families without colleges to choose from and goals for the student moving forward.
Trying to Determine the Reason Why These Students Behave This Way is not Always Known.
What I have found is that even the students can’t pinpoint why they’re behaving this way. Finding the why isn’t as important as developing strategies that will support them to successfully navigate this process. In an effort to help students, I developed strategies that are proving effective in helping students overcome their passive resistance.
Strategies To Effectively Help Students Overcome Passive Resistance.
1. Encourage & Praise Your HS Student During The College Admissions Process
I begin and end each meeting by praising the student for something they’ve done well. Throughout our time together, I encourage them to take the next steps and emphasize my belief in their abilities. By expressing genuine confidence in their potential, I aim to help them develop self-belief.
- “Good job!”
- “I know you can do this!”
- “Way to Go”
- “Congratulations”
Sometimes with these students my belief in them is what they need to also begin to believe it. These phrases of encouragement will help your student feel more confident and capable as they work through the steps. Please borrow them!
2. Break Down College Admissions Tasks Into Manageable Steps
As much as I can, I break down tasks and directions into small, achievable steps, taking into consideration other factors and responsibilities. This approach helps students feel less overwhelmed and better equipped to make progress.
3. Reinforce the Positive, Minimize the Negative
If, when meeting with a student, I realize they made a mistake that will have to be changed, I focus first on what they did correctly; and share with them that I understand why they made a mistake, while at the same time encouraging them to change it. By emphasizing their strengths, I create a supportive environment conducive to growth.
4. Encourage Ownership and Create a Judgement-Free Zone
When I first meet with a student, I tell them that they alone are the driver of the college admissions process. I use the analogy of driving their dream car, “You are in the driver’s seat and I am sitting in the passenger’s seat giving you directions.” I always encourage students to take ownership of this process by reminding them of the steps along the way and asking them what they want to work on next. I also remind them that we are driving through a “Judgement Free” zone.
Addressing passive resistance among high school students navigating the college admissions process requires patience and tailored strategies. By offering encouragement, breaking down tasks, emphasizing positivity, and fostering a sense of ownership, we can support these students in achieving their goals and transitioning successfully to the next chapter of their lives.
Discussing The Gap Year For A Passive Resistant HS Student
If a student still struggles to complete necessary college application steps after implementing these strategies, I sit down with their family to discuss the option of a gap year. According to the Gap Year Association, a gap year is: “An intentional period, usually a year, devoted to personal growth and exploration through experiential learning opportunities.”
As this association points out, learning isn’t always linear and, often, students, who take a gap year, are much better for it.
Examples of gap year experiences include:
- Internships
- Learning a new language
- Attending a trade school
- Outdoor leadership programs
- National service
- Volunteering.
The Gap Year Association highlights the benefits of non-linear learning, as students who take a gap year often return to academia more focused and committed to their growth.
Even if a student decides on a gap year, they should still apply and secure acceptance to college during their senior year. They can then finalize their gap year plans with their chosen college and defer admission for one year.
Key Ingredients For Successfully Working With Passive Resistant HS Students
Working with passive-resistant students through the admissions process can be both challenging and deeply rewarding. I believe that compassion, kindness, and patience are essential components in fostering their success. By providing unwavering support and understanding, we can make a lasting impact on these students’ lives, creating unforgettable experiences along the way.
Supporting passive-resistant students through the college admissions process requires a great deal of patience and personalized strategies. By offering encouragement, breaking tasks into manageable steps, emphasizing positivity, and fostering a sense of ownership, you can guide these students towards success. In situations where progress remains a challenge, discussing the possibility of a gap year may prove beneficial.
If you’re a parent, student, or educator, I guarantee these will be the students you never forget! As well, if you’re seeking assistance in navigating the college admissions journey, don’t hesitate to reach out to Dianne Keilholtz @ 240-285-1920 or Dianne@launchingcollegesuccess.com. Together, we can create a supportive environment that empowers students to take control of their future and achieve their goals.
